I'm Clearly Unprepared...For All of This

The first week of kindergarten is off to a somewhat hilarious start. On Day 2, M announced that she had a boyfriend. I asked his name. She didn't know.
 
Real Estate Dad said, "Yep, you are just like your mother. She didn't know any of their names either."
 
M said she wanted to wear her fancy purple dress with the flowers (read: Dress we found in that morass in the center of Costco) to see if her boyfriend noticed or said anything. And, scene.
 
How the hell did we get here?
 
Today we asked how school was and she told us "Well, I went into the bathroom and someone had pooped and there were all these little balls of poop floating in the toilet and they couldn't flush it so I had to help them flush it so that all the poop would go down."
 
Real Estate Dad wanted to know what her teachers were doing when she was plunging the toilet. I wanted to know who clogged the joint. She told me the girl with the lipstick. I looked over at Real Estate Dad and said, "Oh yeah, one of the kids on the first day had full on bright pink lipstick. It was funny and yet slightly jarring." M said, "Yeah, that's her. She's the one who clogged the toilet.
 
I would tend to not believe M, but it's obvious when she lies. When she's telling the truth she's pretty quick and deadpans it.
 
Can't wait for tomorrow! It's like a hilarious soap opera with no bad ending!
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