Where the Hell Did Summer Go?

Argh!

I love summer. And I hate that it is coming to a rapid close. DC Public Schools start, in my opinion, stupidly early. August 20. That's a bunch of BS. There are so many days off during the year, I'd rather have this time in summer with the kids. It's still 100 degrees out with some serious hair-frizzing humidity going. The kids need to be at the beach or the pool. Not in school. I'm not a fan of this nonsense.

The school also apparently waited way too long to mail the class assignments, so school starts Monday and on Thursday they finally decided to post the list of class assignments on the front door of the school. Like I'm in Middle School all over again trying to see if I made varsity field hockey. (I didn't.) (And I still don't know what "Foul! Advancing!" means.) (The skirts were hot though.)

Not having the teacher assignment also meant, we didn't have the class supply list. Luckily, Chubs is in one of only one Pre-K classes. That was easy.

Unfortunately, M is in one of four 1st grade classes. Each teacher has posted their list but we didn't know which list was ours. On the last day of our beach vacation, we stopped at WalMart in Rehoboth to get backpacks. And because I am a Terzis through-and-through, I could not pass up the chance to buy cheap school supplies with no sales tax. I decided to knock out Chubs's list and try to get some stuff from M's list. How did I do this you ask, without knowing her class? I just compared all 4 lists and bought the things that they had in common.

This wasn't easy.

These lists are sort of...insane. Expo pens with low odor. (How DARE they with this "no odor" nonsense!?! Sniffing markers is one of the only reasons some kids even showed up to my elementary school.) Some teachers want highlighters in certain colors but not others. Others want pencils of a certain brand but you can't find them anywhere. They all want the Crayola 10 pack of markers but some want a blunt tip and others want the classic tip. Everyone wants tissues. There are gonna be lots of snotty noses in school. They all also want blunt tip scissors which begs the question - y'all got 30 of them last year, where did those go? I got the blunt tip scissors but also got the pointed tip so I could stab myself in the eye. (I actually didn't get the pointed tip, I'm kidding. I don't need the pointed tip because my friends from West Virginia visited and they talked me into how useful having a pocket knife is, so now I have one!)

Back to the supply list. They want composition books, some want folders, some want a needle in a haystack, others want the leprechaun at the end of the rainbow and everyone wants a partridge in a pear tree.

I'm not cut out for this school stuff really. I admit it. A lot of stuff seems like time-wasting or resource-wasting nonsense. Like that kindergarten homework. Or like - WHERE DID ALL THE SCISSORS GO? I have walked by my elementary school in recent years and you can see right into the kindergarten classroom. THE SAME CADDY of scissors is still there. The same damn one. With what look like the same metal scissors. If North Mianus can keep the same rusted metal scissors caddy (and probably of the same scissors) from the 1970's, how come we can't do it here?

I know, no one's ever gonna recommend me to be Class Mom or on the PTO.

But, did I tell you, I'm Class Mom and Teacher Appreciation co-chair! It's all about keeping the people who have a direct impact on my littles, happy, and hanging with the cool ass-kicking moms. Because any mom who voluntarily throws herself into the 27 car pile-up that IS DCPS has my utmost respect.

First order of business, dumping a giant basket of treats off in the teacher's lounge.

Next order of business, find out where the scissors went.