Welcome to the Jungle

When people say “You should get out more” I’m pretty sure they aren’t talking to me. Because every time I go out, something stupid happens. Both days this weekend I woke up “early” and was surprised to leave behind a house of sleeping kids, dogs and husband, only to learn that the rest of the world was already out and at ‘em.

Sunday I was out early* to take an awesome Pilates class at Fuel Body Lab in Georgetown. I might be in love with that place. Anyway, the class was the only good part of my morning in Georgetown. Then, these things happened:

  1. I walked down M Street to return something and I bumped into Nancy Pelosi. Literally. Like, she was wandering aimlessly down the sidewalk, distracted at something shiny, and I had to dodge out of her way. For the record, her face is every bit as frozen as it appears on TV. For the record, she looked every bit as confused as she does on TV. For the record, I’m scared of her.

  2. I lost complete faith in my favorite rock band ever when I saw this nonsense.

Alice & Olivia.jpg

If you’re buying your Guns N Roses shirt at Alice & Olivia or at H&M, YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG. The edgy, “IDGAF” band of the 80’s that got signed for Appetite for Destruction and promptly went on a bender instead of actually recording - is gone. It’s like a sad, pathetic last-chance-money-grab.

I had fun at three of their concerts on this last never-ending tour, once with KFrat, once with the fam and once with my Newly-Minted 87% Ashkenazi Jew BFF.**

And! Unlike in 1988, I wasn’t grounded this time when they came to town!

3. Then, I passed this madness. What the hell is this? This is a thing?

Kittens.jpg

Pretty much no matter where you are, you can’t swing a dead cat without hitting a bunch of stray cats, so I really just need to ask: why? You have a room. A bunch of cats. A bunch of crazy cat ladies in training. There’s cats that wander all over Hemingway’s house in Key West but at least you are at HEMINGWAY’S HOUSE! This is just an old space in Georgetown that used to be a secondhand store - you know it, where they sell raspberry beret’s.

I know Georgetown retail is hurting like hell for tenants but who the hell wakes up early on a Sunday (okay okay, 11:00) to go pet a bunch of cats? Dogs? Maybe. Piglets? Yeah! Goats? HELL YES. But cats?

Nope.

*I realize early is 6 a.m. for most of you. Early for me is 9:30. Don’t judge!

**She is really embracing this. Not that she didn’t already know, but she’s diving head first into this “discovery.” She’s picked up several dreidels to hone her craft. Should be interesting to see how this plays out.